5 Things That’ll Get You Bounced in Vegas

Last week, while I was in Las Vegas, I stumbled across a table game called Pai Gow Poker. And although I had never heard of this game before, the table filled with guys was enough to lure me in for a hand.

That night, 2 things were made very clear to me.

#1. I have no idea how to play Pai Gow Poker.

and

#2. Manners and common sense are not always… Well… Common!

There’s just something about gambling that can bring out the utmost foolishness in certain people. Perhaps it’s the competitive nature of the game they’re playing, or simply the fact that they have had a few too many beverages from the bar. Whatever the case, the idiocy can often get out of hand and even lead to your being thrown out of the venue.

Not a good look.

So to help the general population in at least one aspect of gambling—playing at a poker table—I came up with a handful of activities you need to avoid like the plague. These all apply for whether you’re playing at an actual casino like the Aria in Las Vegas, or at a virtual casino like Betfair Poker online.

While the universal rule (in life, really) is to just not be a douche bag on any level, but these are five things you need to avoid doing unless you want to get bounced in a hurry.

1. Using Your Phone: This goes for you and any friends you have around you. According to About, one of the biggest mistakes you can make at the table is whipping out your smartphone. For one, the more seasoned players around you will probably rat you out anyway, but the all-seeing eye of the security cameras will catch you eventually. Just try to unplug yourself, even if it’s only for 30 minutes.

2. Acting Out Of Turn: This is the kind of “duh, really?” moment that too many people have done to leave it off this list. Everyone gets it: You’re excited that you’re playing poker for (probably) the first time, which is something you have announced to the table at least twice. But that doesn’t mean you should act out of turn and potentially ruin the game for everyone. That just makes you look like an idiot and the dealer will likely kick you out.

3. Excessive Cussing: It’s been proven that profanity is actually good for you, but that doesn’t give you free will to drop explicit bombs when you feel like it, right? Of course not. That especially goes for whenever you’re at the poker table. You’ll either get thrown out of the joint or, in the case of the net-based games, banned from chat and the current game. Save it for later and try to be at least somewhat professional.

4. Not Showering: Here’s another tip that you think would be obvious, but it’s not. Look, you have made the decision to not shower as much because you want to conserve water? Great. But that doesn’t mean you can sit right next to someone at a poker table reeking of B.O. It’s bad enough that you probably also smell like smoke, but the least you can do is take care of your personal odors. Please, for everyone’s sake.

5. Eating: Whether you’re grubbing on something greasy and getting your keyboard all mucked up or trying to snack while playing at an actual table, you’d be wise to not eat in this particular setting. If it’s been too long since your last bite, just leave the table! You’re going to annoy everyone around you and probably make a mess, both of which will be grounds for your dismissal.

So make sure to keep the table and your act clean!

If you have any personal horror stories of people acting foolish at poker tables and getting kicked out, please share them in the comments below. Also, please follow these guidelines for your next gambling venture. The experience will be that much more pleasant, promise.

Mr. Fab sino