If you where lucky enough to miss the Oscars last night and now feel left out of the water cooler conversation today at work, just follow my quick comments and you’ll fit in just fine.
#1. “Wasn’t Anne Hathaway just terrible last night? A trained monkey would have done a better job…”
Now the convo about this should go on for a few minutes, people might even throw in comments about her co-host James Franco and how high he was…just nod until the mud-slinging starts to slow and then say:
“And who dressed her? Oh, and don’t even get me started on her hair and make-up.”
After about 5 minutes of shaking your head in disgust, quietly sneak out and return to your desk.
#2 “What was with bringing the Crypt Keeper on stage?”
So this comment is in referral to Kurt Douglas presenting an award, he was on stage for about 4 hours and 25 minutes, Sounded like he was re-playing the marble scene from The Kings Speech and the entire time everybody was waiting for him to die on stage. And as if that wasn’t awkward enough, there was the part where he sexually harassed Anne Hathaway…I was grossed out!
Again shake your head in disgust and return to work after about 5 minutes.
That really concludes the night. A few other topics you might hear about today but are not really worth covering are:
-Tacky Mellisa Leo dropping the F* bomb in her acceptance speech and CTV not bleeping it.
-Jennifer Hudson and her continued weight lose.
-The fact NO African Americans were nominated.
Now I should mention who the BIG winner was… and it was NO surprise!
It was ME and my Oscar inspire dish for the night,
‘Noodlie Porkman’ in Silver Swan! (pasta salad with ham)